Instead of nagging and scolding, turn learning table manners into a game!

I’m no Mary Poppins but I grew tired of reminding my children to use their napkins and to stop talking when their mouths full. So, one night, at dinner, I invented this simple game. The boys enthusiastically play it and request it from time to time.

Manners or etiquette can be defined as “conventional requirements as to social behavior; properties of conduct as established in any class or community for any occasion.”

In this day and age, it might seem old-fashion to require proper table etiquette. This makes a great topic for discussion before introducing the game.

Ask, “What is the purpose of table manners?”

There are many possible answers.

We teach table manners as a means of providing a comfortable meal time experience for everyone. They help us be considerate of others needs. They allow us to show honor and respect for each person around the table. Those are valuable character traits we want to instill in each of our children.

Teaching Children Manners While Playing Manners Baseball

Here’s How to Play:

• The Object of the Game: Score more runs than anyone else at the table. Run all 3 bases and score a run! A run results in a marble or checker in a jar.

When the jar is full of “runs,” the family celebrates with a special outing, dessert or game night. You set the reward. The jar serves as an accumulation of every family member’s effort to put polite table manners into practice.

• Players: All kids and adults around the table (even though Mom and Dad may also be playing the role of coach/umpire). My kids love to try to catch me breaking a table rule.

• Advancing to the Next Base: Get “caught” performing a polite act by the coach (Mom or Dad). This is a happy way to review and teach proper table manners.

For example: You notice your son using his napkin instead of his shirt and announce “You just used your napkin. Way to go! You just got a hit to 1st base!” Make sure to verbally point out the polite act as extra reinforcement.

• 3 Strikes and You’re Out: Get “caught” being rude or impolite by the coach.

For example: Someone forgets to say “please” when they ask for the bowl of beans. The coach announces “You didn’t ask politely and say please. Strike 1.” Don’t forget to reinforce the table manner missed by mentioning what it is.

After 3 strikes: the child is asked to leave the table for a time. You can invite them back to “play” again and finish dinner after a brief time-out.  Being sent from the dinner table may seem too harsh for a 3-year old just putting manners into real practice but just right for a 9-year old who has a few years of etiquette under his belt. You set the appropriate limits for your family.

• Keeping Score: I have the boys each keep track of their own place on the baseball diamond and how many strikes they have. You may also want to keep score on a notepad or create your own baseball diamond. Get creative as you want!

I haven’t gone to great lengths to create a game board because I don’t want the game to interfere too much with the meal. I wanted to keep it  simple so it can be played anywhere, at anytime.

This game is to be played with lots of smiles and laughter. It is a joy to watch my boys go out of their way to be polite so they can advance around the playing field.

Of course, I am always more eager to recognize good table manners and only occasionally give strikes because that keeps the tone of the game positive. However, giving a strike to someone who has an habitual bad habit drives home the point in a fresh way that nagging seems to never achieve.

Confession: I actually struck out for talking with my mouth full. There I go multi-tasking again! Trying to teach, encourage, correct and EAT all at the same time. Next time, smaller bites kept me in the game!

 Let’s play ball!

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