As pink has slowly begun trickling into our home, the reality of this darling baby girl in my womb has become more tangible. But it’s taking time to sink in! I can hardly believe it!
I love all my boys dearly. I’ve always joked how I wanted more boys than girls so so far so good. But my desire for a daughter was still there with every pregnancy. I just had to keep putting it on the shelf.
Last fall, I was sick in bed watching TLC’s show “Say Yes to the Dress.” The mothers would cry when they saw their daughter in the wedding dress. Often, the mother’s tears were confirmation that this dress was indeed the one. I cried along with them.
But my tears were because I was realizing I’d never get to have that moment. Sure, there would be many others treasured moments I’d be blessed with and perhaps, my daughter-in-laws would invite me along when they tried on their wedding dress. I wouldn’t get to watch my own daughter become a bride.
We’ve never been trying for a girl. This is not at all what our big family has been about. We’ve always believed children are a blessing from the Lord. But before this pregnancy, I had to make sure my heart wasn’t pinning away for a little girl. If God blessed us with another boy, I wouldn’t want him carrying any sort of disappointment.
A few weeks ago, the ultrasound confirmed we were indeed going to have a daughter. A gush of emotions I hadn’t expected welled up from deep within me.
Let me be honest. Being pregnant with a baby girl has tapped into a place I thought was fairly healed up. I’m realizing, due to my family circumstances, I grew up super-responsible and didn’t get to play the role of a daughter very often. I’m much more comfortable as a mother in charge than as a daughter in need.
So, I’m embarking on a new journey! A journey of being the proud mother of a delightful baby girl. In addition, I’m on a journey of letting my Heavenly Papa love me extravagantly as His own daughter. I’ve had moments of this but I think it is my time to step even further into this place. I believe motherhood itself is an awesome opportunity to encounter God’s presence where we can be changed and transformed.
Thank you for sharing in our joy! It has really touched me! I am overwhelmed God has given me some of the deepest desires of my heart- to have a daughter and to experience more of what it means to be fully His.